randomness

Log start: 6:21pm December 26th, 2010

Desolate; the blizzardy winter nights are.
Taking a look outside the window, you can't see more than white fluffy composition of snowflakes, you which know are not all the same as it reflects the uniqueness of human civilization itself.
Desolation; trapped within by all of this... emptiness that looks alike, but not.

You have only yourself to turn to, but is that really safe? Is it really what you're looking for?

Is it what you have come to desire...?

Definately not!
Lul.

Despite all of this feeling of being trapped with nowhere to go, technology has made this world more bearable! Bwuahahaha.
But I do admit, i don't enjoy snow like i used to.
10 years back, i would of probably nagged my mom to help me find my waterproof pants and the heaviest coat with some scarves and then eject myself out into the snow with all of the children in the neighborhood making snowmen and snow angels.

Looking at it now, there is nothing to be seen outside.
I don't know if it's because all of us are grown up and there are no more children around in the neighborhood (because i suspect that is not the case).
It's because of technology.
Technology can enhance many aspects of our lives, but it seems that it also corrupts many.
I remember growing up, i would love to go outside for everything, now, i just sit in my room facing this screen of unlimited distractions.
Even now, the kids are just sitting at home chatting with each other online through webcams and whatnot, while i go outside with friends to enjoy what society has to offer.
Is this really what we wanted? Is this really going to be the outcome of human society?

I hope not.

But it is true even more so during these blizzardy days.

But, what can i do?

Let me tell you though, this feeling of not being able to go anywhere, by car or public transportation, bothers me. This feeling of being trapped by forces that i cannot control, it's sickening.
Even if i choose not to be outside, i would like to know that i have the ability to be outside.

Sure, you might say that i have the ability to do it.
But honestly. Rethink that.

16-20 something inches of snow overnight, it's certainly a slow building prison until the city decides to salt and shovel all of the snow from the major roads, maybe then i can consider public transportation.
But to people who prefer to drive, like myself, how is tommorow going to be better knowing that the very machine that gives me mobility is trapped under many feet of nature's worst nightmare?

Nevertheless, this is the only reason why i dislike snow.

Looking at it brings back so many memories. Ah... sigh.
Now all of these memories cannot be recreated by anyone else because it seems that the kids do not like to play outside now.

Maybe it's a good time to write my new years resolutions and set some goals for myself.

I just don't know what to do.

So confused.

I was walking around the house before looking for my phone and my mom asked me what i was looking for after awhile of running around and she pointed out that my phone was in my hand the whole time.

Seriously.

What is causing this -_-

HakoneDayDreamer, i have no idea if what i just wrote is at all comprehendable. Apologies.

Post of basic guidelines

Log start: 10:21pm December 20th, 2010

As i drove off of campus today, i asked myself what i've been doing for the past 7 semesters of college.
This semester was, by far, the fastest semester that i've completed at college and i can't explain why. There is no logical explaination to why time feels faster than it is, because time is a universal constant, it is something that can neither go faster or slower, only our perception of it changes.
All throughout the drive back to Queens, i tried to wrap my head around what i've been doing in college and why this semester seemed like it was so fast.
The only conclusion that came to mind was that i'm getting old. As i get older, i expect less out of each day. It no longer takes an exploding truck to make my day, maybe if someone gives me a cookie, maybe if my professor lets the class out early, maybe if i get to look at/talk to the girl i have a crush on.

I'm tired of expecting so much out of life and i have learned to live life for what it is and enjoy the little things.
Sitting down in my room watching some C/K/J Dramas having a beer.
Taking a break from photography and making myself a cup of nice green tea.
Picking at peoples brains for no reason at all.

All of these small things give me pleasure in life now, no more will i long for my days to be mission impossibles, no more will i long to exert all of my strength in a day, and no more will i have a need to FIND something to do.

Now i can just sit down and just do what i want to do.
I might even bring my small bonsai tree from home to my dorm and trim it a bit from time to time for pure enjoyment.
All i'm asking for is a moment of truth, a time where i can be me because i can be. Not putting on some different face because i want to, but doing what i want because i can.

Every day is a brighter day because i have the luxury(sort of) to do what i want to do. (senior year procrastination and just not giving a l0lwtfpl0x's ass about anything)
If you don't like something, ignore.
If you like something, take in more.
(i'm not exactly the prime example of a "good" student as you can see)

At this stage in my life, it seems like i should only care about the things that i truly care about and disregard everything else.

That's what i'm aiming for.

HakoneDayDreamer, it's cold. No... it's COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD.
Lunar Eclipse 2010! Pix next entry?

Clarity

Unable
to move

Weighed
down as if my foot was stuck in concrete

Disabled
by my own quivering senses

Mesmerized
by the sound of your voice

Haunted
by past experiences

Fearing
the for the future

Excitement
draws near

Failing
to finish

Hanging
on to what's there

Unsatisfied
by the result

Waiting
for something


-BT:20101214:Clarity

Hunger for mystery

Log start: 3:49am November 26th, 2010

People say that love has no boundaries, but as everyone "agrees" to that statement verbally, not all agrees to that in their heart.
Take the popular TV series "How I Met Your Mother" for example, there's a character named Ted. Ted goes through (currently) 6 seasons going from one girl to the other saying that they're "the one" for him.
When you find "the one" there's a possibility that they're not the one, as with Ted, none of them were so far. But what attracts you to these people is a mysterious force that cannot be explained by words.
When people ask you to list the things you like about a person, that's essentially asking you to "oh yeah? prove it!" what do you like about that person, what makes her so interesting?

Wait a second, let me take out my notepad of "i'm going to hit you in the head with a giant blunt object if you ask me again."

Because when this happens, people list the most generic responses that can be labeled to anyone on earth.
"Oh, i like her personality."
"Oh, i like her sense of humor."

Ok great, there's always someone who will admire them for whatever you have listed, but that doesn't cause you to be attracted to them.
Lets say HYPOTHETICALLY, (because i won't) ask you "so, what do you like about your girlfriend?" and you list things like her personality, her smile, her boobs. I can say i like those things about her too, doesn't mean i'm attracted to her.
It's the emotions that you cannot explain that put it together, like a picture connects.

So instead of taking your word for it after you say "oh, i dunno, there's a feeling that i can't describe" and make you "PROVE IT, SON!" people go to extensive lengths to find out the truth behind your emotions like it's somewhere for them to be in the first place.

That's the detective part of the human brain, we try to understand everything even when we know that we're not supposed to understand everything.
A hunger for mystery is always within you, to find the truth, to get to the bottom of it, and to ask questions WHY WHY WHY and WHY?
People are hard to understand, that is why i gave up on trying to understand them many years ago and give them the benefit of the doubt. (<-- some previous post)
It's not a sign that i don't care, because i do, i care about people around me a lot, but it's because i care about you that i don't ask questions that will break certain social boundaries.
1) There's no need for me to know that much.
2) There's no need for me to know anything at all.
3) I assume that you have your priorities under control, and if that's the way you act, as annoying or retarded as it is, i will let you go on that path without trying to interject because that's just who you are.

People ask me "HOW THE HELL CAN YOU BE SO LAID BACK?" and i like to return with the question "WHY THE HELL DO YOU NEED TO CARE ABOUT EVERYTHING?"
Although in the back of my mind, there's a linger to know everything, there's certainly no reason to know everything. It's not my place to be and knowing won't benefit me in anyway, so why be a drama queen, why be the "detective" that has to have their hands on everything? It doesn't mean i don't care just because i don't need to know.

If your mission in life is to satisfy your hunger for these things, go ahead, and then later, maybe you need to see a shrink, because by the looks of it, you're worrying about other people more than you're worrying about yourself.
This act in itself doesn't mean that you're this awesome person that sacrifices themselves for other people, it means you're stupid.
The first thing that they teach us in lifeguarding is that if the situation looks dangerous, get the fuck out because your life is worth just as much as anyone else's. If you had the choice to either save yours or theirs, you should choose yours.
It's not inhuman, it's the truth, if you don't care about yourself, why live at all?
I'll google maps you to the nearest bridge, do something for the world and jump off of it.
Note: This is only true if you only hunger for useless information, if it's your job as a REAL detective, this doesn't apply to you. (doesn't apply to you and your significant other either)

There's a reason behind everything that people do, even if the person that's doing it doesn't understand it fully. So even if the person that's doing it doesn't understand, why should you?

HakoneDayDreamer, instead of trying to understand others, why not take the time to understand yourself? Unless your goal in life is to know the business of others, then you just need to jump off that bridge...

why so curious?

Log start: 3:08pm October 26th, 2010


But it felt like the right time to do an entry, just because I have nothing better to do (honest truth.)
So, this has been a week of horrific events for the suite. Halloween is comming soon and a few of us are having scary dreams at night, eh. I don't like watching horror movies, i can't take scary things, and i usually don't have nightmares. Well... now that i think about it, it's not exactly nightmares that i'm having, it's just shady stuff is happening... in my dreams... and every morning i wake up and wonder what it all means.

These dreams are having more than an eerie effect when i wake up, these dreams recall the past, a lot of it is about past events but with a different twist. i don't know if it's how i wanted some of these past events to turn out because uhh... they do get scary because somehow they have halloween things incorporated into it like "oh hey look, i'm walking down the street to buy something at the corner store and zombies are walking around and it seems completely normal" and things like "oh word? they finally brought bags of milk to america! COOL! hey edward cullen, look! they have bags of blood too!"

and i wake up like what the fuck.
1) what the hell is happening
2) WHY AREN'T THERE BAGS OF MILK IN AMERICA?

but this recent string of odd dreams also bring back funny memories that are just so random.
one of these flashbacks are as follows:
my friends and i are waiting at a bus stop to go to flushing. i'm probably in 8th or 9th grade, at this time, cellphones are just starting to get popular and i had borrowed my mom's cell cause i told her i was going out. so i'm at this bus stop checking my phone for the time and there's this old guy standing near us and he blurts out "pfft. cellphones, it's how you tell the different between the guys and the girls"

after waking up, i immediately think to myself - "nigga, are you cereal???" <-- i am saddened at my first thoughts of the day.

by 2010, even elementary school children have cell phones in which they can call people with.

--- BRB --- CLASS TIME ---

Resumed 2:31pm 11-2-10
I'm supposed to be reading "I Am A Cat" right now for my class in a little over an hour, but i got bored and thought of something.
In this book, a human writes the feelings and thoughts of a cat. How does that work? How can the human mind be so curious about how the cat mind works that a person a simply write a book about a cat's curiosity on how the human mind works?

You don't get it? Neither can i?

But, what seems to be the question here is curiosity in general. I can't speak for cats, but i can certainly speak for humans. Just why are we so curious? at times when a person mentions something, why must the opposite press on to find out the underlying meaning?
Human curiosity is a mysterious, yet dangerous, attribute.
I give people the benefit of the doubt sometimes when i ask "SUP BRAH? WHERE YOU GOIN'??"
"going out."
"OKAY BRO. HAVE FUN"

Can't life be as simple as that? leave people to their own private matters sometimes and not be nosy, wanting to know everything about everyone?

But of course, the great thinkers before our time has already theorized about this and has said that "human curiosity cannot be tamed"
Do people do it just for the hell of it? What use will that extra information do?

My thoughts? You cannot satisfy the human mind, the human mind thrives on obtaining information, even information that is not useful to them. I am guilty of this simple pleasure sometimes but most of the time i give people the benefit of the doubt.
I want my privacy as much as they want theirs.

But there are others who strive for more, people who strive to know everything, people who live on information, drama, despair of others. Freaks, i tell ya. These people live within their imagination many times over and cannot think of new ways to entertain themselves so they enter the lives of others in order to feed their self-inflicted addiction.

Time changes, human behavior does not.
Curiosity almost killed the cat, but the cat is small, agile, and has nine lives. What can't kill the cat, will surely kill the human, as humans are bigger, slower, and down to their last life.

HakoneDayDreamer, cut short because i really need to read this chapter for a quiz -_-

Mirror

Log start: 5:06am October 4th, 2010


Senior year -_-"
One of the emotions i'm not feeling when the semester started was excitement. I'm not excited that I might graduate after this year and i'm definately not excited about starting "real life." I've seen people come and go and the transition from college life to the real world is not a pretty thing.
Oh how I wish I can be in college forever, but the young must grow old, and the old must entrust the younger generation with the responsibilities that they once held.

Listen to me, i'm only 21 and i'm talking like im 60 years old T_T
But it's true, in the undergraduate community, I am in my fourth year here and the oldest :\

This semester, i'm also starting my e-board position on the SBU Company of Archers (archery club...) as secretary.
Recruiting new people, training new people, and interacting with so many people actually made me realize the fact that i'm flippin' old.

You KNOW that you're old when you look at freshman that just came to the school and you see yourself in them.
What you stood for when you came to college, the way you acted, and the experiences that they're feeling now.

You know how that felt and you know the journey that they're about to go through.
When you look at people, you know exactly how they'll turn out in college, some more than others because you actually see yourself in them.

People say that every single person is unique and that may be true... if you were in a class of about 30 people (grade, middle, high school)
But in college, especially in an international institution like Stony Brook, there are no uniques, there is always a copy of you and when you see these copies, it makes you reminisce the old days. the good, the bad, the could/would ofs, and the joys.

Some people can recognize it more than others... I mean... my second week back, there was holidays already here and the food court closes at different times.
So every thursday, after the archery club meets and does our off campus practices, we come back to roth quad and follow our tradition to eat at wendys.

It so happens that wendys closed early that day and as people were comming out, they said to me "OH, IT'S CLOSED, I THINK YOU SHOULD GO TO KELLY (another food court) JUST WALK UP THIS ROAD, TURN LEFT, WALK UP A HILL AND YOU SHOULD BE THERE!!!"

I bet they felt accomplished.

They just told a senior how to get from one part of campus to the other.

Legends.


Back on topic, there's no way to admit that i'm not old. Honestly, i'm scared of what is to come when i graduate (if i choose to graduate) and i'm scared of what these younger people will become when we leave. it's an unending cycle of worriness. what will the younger version of me become? what will i become in the future? what will they do in the future? I DO HOPE I STAY FOREVER YOUNG, I DON'T WANT TO GRADUATE.

But reality must come, the stage of being a new born baby to a college senior is the end of your youth. from then, you're old, you grow increasingly old as the days go by, and then in 20 or 30 years, you're the spitting image of your parents. you will become what you did not want to be.

But that's the truth that we fail to see, it's the truth of what we don't want to admit, and it's the truth of what life will end up as.

I mean, come on... i even remember when pluto was a planet...


HakoneDayDreamer, where's that fucking fountain of youth?? flippin' explorers...

Chronicles of a Lifeguard: Chapter One - Mornings

Log start: 7:11pm August 11th, 2010

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Ugh... 7am... I hate mornings.

The one thing about being a lifeguard is that the job is very physically demanding. For a guy that's used to waking up at noon for classes that start at 2pm, 7am is a very big difference. That means it's time to say bye bye to a lot of the usual late night activities such as playing video games past midnight, staying up watching TV sitcoms, dramas and movies, surfing the web, and my favorite college past-time, anything that invovles alcohol.
It's not that I don't like the job, because I love it. I love swimming and I love to teach swimming, i've been swimming since I was six and now i'm currently twenty-one years old. The most annoying part about the job is that the whole staff composes of college students, and the normal college student is definately not a morning person, especially if you live somewhere as far as Brooklyn and have to wake up at 6am, maybe even 5:30am to come to work in the Queens to avoid morning traffic. To me, that's just insane, I already think sleeping before 3am is blasphemy but to wake up that early every single day, I don't think I could of done it.
Luckily for me, I live about a 10 minute local drive away from the pool, so I get the luxury of waking up as late as possible and getting to work dead on time. If there are no school buses or old people in my way in that stretch of road, I can even make it in seven minutes, but what awaits you when work starts is part of why the job is terrifying and why you dread waking up so early every morning to drag half-dead body to work.
What awaits us at work are little devils that have an unlimited supply of energy if you water and feed them from time to time. Yes, they're children, cute little children that can either make your day amazing or a living nightmare, more of the living nightmare nowadays because of the sugar loaded breakfasts that they get fed everyday. There are so many little buggers running around and breaking rules that it doesn't matter how many cute little children you have, because it won't balance out the bad ones that you have to teach everyday.
Still, you can only hope that tommorow will bring a better day and maybe some of them won't even show up to get on your nerves. Honestly, those are the best days for me because I noticed that I spend the majority of my energy yelling and the bad seeds only to turn my head around for one second and they're at the same thing again. The days where my most annoying children don't show up are the days that when I get home, i still have the energy to stay awake until dinner time.
Of course, the children are the most predictable factor of your day, because after a few days, you know which child sits where on your piss-me-off-and-die scale. The most unpredictable part of your day rests with your own co-workers, the other staff that runs the pool with you. The mood of your day is ultimately the average of the whole pool staffs. If someone comes in with a hangover, you have to pick up their slack, if they come in all happy and giddy, you'll hear amazing stories all day long and everyone will have a great time, despite the annoying children. The team functions as a unit, every one of us works with each other at least once a day, we share joy, pain, and memories together, so the co-worker mood factor definately plays a large role in your daily overall mood.
You'll never know that'll happen at work. Someday you might get some poop in the pool and your boss won't even close the pool, someday there will be no chlorine and yet the pool still isn't shut down, and sometimes you'll get pushed into the pool as a prank by your friends and you'll be waiting for that perfect time to get a revenge shove into the pool. Everyday is a different story for the staff at the pool.
Mornings are a drag, waking up so early when you're not 100% used to it is a pain in the ass. Knowing that there are crazy and annoying children waiting for you at work doesn't make your mornings any better. The best that you can hope for is that your co-workers and friends will make your day better, or else you'd crack under the pressure of this physically demanding job.
The rest of the day will come shortly, now I eat my breakfast, hop into my car, and listen to the morning radio talk show while I cruise down to the pool where my 8 weeks of pain and sometimes excitement waits for me every single day.

Fun stuff.



HakoneDayDreamer, sleeeepy.

Chronicles of a Lifeguard: Sub-Chapter One - Panic Is Not An Option

Log start: 11:25pm August 2nd, 2010

There's bulletin board at our pool with a poster named "Panic is not an option." On the same bulletin board are posters explaining some popular water sports such as scuba diving, surfing, and recreational beach things. There are posters that give you annual statistics on the risks of water related accidents compared to on-land activities. One of these statistics compare the risk of being killed by a shark to being killed by slipping in your own kitchen. The risks of getting killed by a shark is 1:14,000,000 and the risk of death by slipping in your own kitchen is 1:15,000 falls. On the poster next to it, there are statistics that say that you are less likely to die via a pool drowning than someone randomly stabbing you on the street.
In most life threatening situations, the key to survival is to always stay calm. You should never panic because you're in a deep shit hole because then you'll never get out of it. It's hard to keep that in mind if something life threatening is actually happening to you, but you must always tell yourself to relax, or things will get worse. Remember, things can always be worse, but it should never be.
During recreational swim on saturday, my co-worker and I had a lady call out for help. This was the first time in five years that i've worked saturday recreational swim that someone had actually called out for help. This lady was in her early 60s, she was a fairly large eastern European lady who didn't know how to swim very well and floated out too far to the deep end. This lady, when she was calling out for help, was hanging on the lane line and was panicking because she couldn't get her feet on to the floor. Lets analyze this situation from two perspectives, starting with the old lady and then the lifeguards.
Old Lady - Oh God, shit shit shit shit shit, i'm going to die. "HELP! help, someone. SOMEBODY HELP ME" I fucking hate the swimming pool, I don't want to die "HELP, HELP."
Lifeguard(Basically my point of view) - Fuck me... i'm not in my swimming trunks because no one ever calls out for help and now I might have to go in because they're too stupid to follow rules? Ugh... sorry, my un-named co-worker, I promise you that if you get this one, i'll get the next one. :D

Now, the overall situation, as analyzed by the lifeguard:
I don't expect everyone to know about swimming as much as the lifeguards do, people start off slow and there are obstacles along the way. But wouldn't it be common sense that you don't swim too far out if you can't swim? And i understand that old people fucking LOVE to do water aerobics, but please, why would you even do aerobics in the water in which you can't even stand? I don't get it. Further more, look around you, the lane line which you are holding on is attached to the wall, you're about 5 feet away from the wall, it really doesn't take a genius to go "so... if i pull myself... i'll eventually get to safety!"
This is the exact reason why panicking is not an option when you're in danger, you lose all common sense and you can't add one and one together. Something so simple as to, "oh wait, i'm hanging on this lane line, i'm floating, not drowning. So let me just pull myself to the wall" will escape your mind when you're not thinking logically.
To me, that's as illogical as having a flat tire, changing your own flat tire, and then pulling out a knife and slashing your own tire.
There were some minor flaws on my end too, like not being in trunks and trying to reason with a person in distress, but that will come later on.
Focus is the fine line between saving yourself and putting yourself in trouble; if you're not concentrating on what's happening, then you're going to crumble and lose it. It's a hard thing to grasp, staying calm will be the last thing that I do if i find myself in a huge mess, but it is imperative that you do remember that there is an option to not panic. No matter how afraid you are in a situation, you must never panic because then you're done for.

Panic is not an option for anything. You lose your mind and it's game over.


HakoneDayDreamer, TIRED FROM WORK. Blah.

Chronicles of a Lifeguard: Introduction

Log start: 9:24pm July 27th, 2010

Introduction:
My coach once told the team that being a lifeguard was going to be one of the best jobs that we ever had. It would be the highest payout of all pre-college degree summer jobs that a teenager can possibly have. Whilst I still believe that what coach said was true, he had left out the most important part; the amount of work that you would have to do to earn your buck.
Imagine your typical lifeguard, sitting at the side of the pool, looking over all of the happy swimmers who had come in for a swim at the pool to escape the summer heat or to just workout. Now put them in a category one.
These lifeguards who guard the pool for what is known as Recreational Swim are people who like to take it easy; I mean, how hard is your job when you just sit there watching people swim for countless hours knowing nothing spectacular will ever happen at the pool? I do Rec. Swim guarding somedays and I must say, it's the most boring thing ever. Knowing that fact that no sensible person will ever drown on your watch makes the job boring as ever. Although I shouldn't actually say that because some people have medical problems and situations do happen, but the smart ones usually tell you when they come in to the pool. But going through every week waiting for something as exciting has a nose bleed to come at you isn't really the most facinating thing ever.
Now, imagine your typical lifeguard and add in the teaching factor. These lifeguards are in category 2, a category that, unfortunately, I am currently stuck in. Category 2 lifeguards are teachers, inspiring the future minds in a skill that they will forever keep (hopefully) and possibly training future swimming prodigies such as Micheal Phelps. One can always dream, but one may not always get. As a category 2 lifeguard, we hold a higher salary than those lazy category ones, but not by much and definately not much more than it should be.
Before I continue, I should remind you that wages vary by where you work, so if you work at a place that pays better than decent, then you are one lucky person. If you end up finding a place that pays bad like I did, then we're on the same boat... unfortunately.
As I was saying, category 2 lifeguards are what most lifeguards will become and where most lifeguards will end their lifeguarding career. It's not sad, because according to coach, you've already served your primary purpose, which is to spread the knowledge of swimming to more than one person so that the sport of swimming may grow and dominate the rest of the sporting world. I'm not 100% sure i can agree with that, but lets stick with that for now.
Categories 3 and 4 are head lifeguards and aquatic directors, respectively, and not many of us C2's are able to advance to a c3, and not many c3's can become a c4. I am only in category 2, so lets stick with that for now.
But as I was saying before, the job eventually pays too little for the amount of work that you are required to do, especially where I work.
Compared to something like preping them in academics or teaching them a sport on dry land, the workload in teaching children how to swim is astronomical compared to everything else. Every lifeguard where I work know that everyday you have to risk your whole body, mind, and health on the line to teach these childen. These disease carrying, hyperactive, snot-filled hairballs go from cute to disgusting and annoying in a split second. A freshman guard on the staff loved children before she had to work, but after 2 weeks working with over 100 children a day, your whole mentality changes and you want to beat yourself up everyday.

Enough of lifeguard ranting though. Even though I may say things like this, it only reflects my opinion of children during work hours. After hours, things become normal again and some children still stay cute. You see children in their worst devilish forms in a few places, the pool is one of them.
Don't get me wrong, not 100% of the people you teach are insane. From time to time, there are people who listen to everything you say and they do their part of the work before they are allowed to play. The people who actually care for what you have to say to them makes the job what it is. They are the primary reason you do your job and as a lifeguard, you seek these type of people daily to cure your insanity during work hours.

To any lifeguards that read this, be prepared to read about everyday life as a lifeguard; nothing will be left behind.
To any parents that read this, you will never want your child taught by the wrong people again; find a nice place to enroll them in for swimming classes, because if they're taught by the wrong teachers, it will take 500% more effort to re-learn it the correct way.
To any future lifeguards that read this, find a nice place to work, make sure you're getting paid sufficiently for the amount of work that you need to do.
To any children or persons learning how to swim, you are the bane of my existence during work hours, some of you might be the cutest little things ever, some of you might be the best student ever, but most of you are little balls of evil and you should never piss your lifeguard off because every single one of us knows how to defeat you.

This has been an introduction to Chronicles of a Lifeguard, a multi-part blog post that fully describes the work area of a lifeguard with no details left behind.

HakoneDayDreamer, as I record these sensitive details, they will be posted on the blog but not publically made known on facebook until the end of my work summer work hours.

Lights, Camera, Action

Log start: 2:23am Sunday July 25th, 2010

Suddenly the spotlight is directed to you unexpectedly. How will you react? How will you feel during the sudden suprise and how will you feel afterwards when you've had a chance to think about it?

Let me tell you the happenings of today (saturday).

So, today, regular boring ass day at work. Originally, my friends planned a day at Long Beach, but i couldn't go due to work...
So about 2 nights ago after a huge thunderstorm, the weather people (such idiots) issued a tornado watch or warning, i forgot, for long beach. so the group was like "nahhhhh" and they came to hang out at my pool instead.

Cool stuff. After the pool, we went to another friends house to play some ping pong in his backyard.
Short story, he baught a really nice ping pong table for his backyard and since we decided on dinner later, we had some time to kill before heading to dinner. We brought the pong table out to his backyard and we played ping pong there.

We played for maybe an hour until we hear a big BOOM in the near distance. Us being college students, established right away that the sound was due to a car accident that was not far away from my friends house. My friend Hao, being the more curious type strolled on faster than the rest of us up a mini hill driveway to find a car accident and yells out "OH SHIT, IT'S A CAR ACCIDENT"

Right then and there, my automated professional first aid mode kicked in and i ran as fucking fast that could in sandals to analyze the situation.

When we got there, there were two cars involved in the accident, the worse of the two cars had his front bumper torn off and the driver had bailed to the passenger seat (i don't know how that happened, but i arrived with it looking like that).
My first instinct was to call 911, as it is the first thing that we are taught in first aid class. We are only there to assist the people until people with better training arrives. So as i'm talking to this 911 operator, i asked the guy "CAN I HELP YOU? I'M TRAINED IN CPR."

Fail #1.

the correct wording would be "can i help you? i'm currently certified in first aid"

This was one of the things that i couldn't believe i had said until it had left my mouth and that i couldn't believe i said after i had A LOT of time to think about it.
I guess all of that messing around at work got to me... It's my first time being the first professional rescuer at a real accident scene and my heart was pounding when i saw the accident. I knew i could of done something, so i did it, for the safety of the people that were involved in the accident. If i know that i could do something and i just stood around and watched, it would of been such a dick move and i couldn't of lived with that conscience my whole life.

Called 911, ask the guy what happened and told him to stay still until EMS arrived. ( i suspected a head, neck, and back injury. LOL. )
the police station was about 8 blocks away, the fire department 3 blocks away, and a hospital 5 blocks away. i live in an area where (thank god) a lot of things are near.
As soon as i started talking to the guy, i hear the firehouse sirens and i calmed down.
As there was no immediate danger to the man and no life threatening forces in the accident scene, there was honestly nothing i could do to help the man, by the time i ran inside to my friends house to get a first aid kit (lol) the paramedics would of already arrived. so i just stood there watching the guy until the fire department came, then i strolled quickly back to my friends who were watching from the sidewalk and taking massive quantities of picures...

The guys left arm was cut up with bruises and had cuts without squirting blood, and the side of his head was rashed up, probably from the cars side curtain airbag. nothing more i could of done.

Once fire dept, police, and finally the ambulance came, i was just another innocent bystander.

But seriously. My first "real" accident, i splurted my words out incorrectly and i couldn't do anything except call 911.
My instructors say that it's always the most important part in the accident cycle, so i guess i did do the most important first step! *pats self on back*

But this brings up a question of what if. What if this were to happen again later on in my life where i'm the first professional on the scene? what would i do? what would i be able to do? would i splurt out my words correctly after the first time? would my actions mean life or death?

when you're put under pressure, everything changes. all the training you did only accounts for 50% of the things that you do in a situation.
It's just as surprising as someone shining a spotlight at you all of a sudden and telling you to dance. you'd go, "wtf??"
this was a "wtf" moment for me when i first saw it. i was like "this shit isn't happening to me... FML... but GOGOGO, ALL YOUR TRAINING TELLS YOU TO BE A GOOD SAMARITAIN."
i honestly wanted to help, there was nothing i could do. and even when the fire dept and police came, they treated the guy the wrong way. they asked him if he can move his legs and after he said yes, they asked him if he could walk a bit out of the car.

SERIOUSLY?? you guys who are trained in professional rescue care who are reading this should also go "SERIOUSLY?"

the dude was just in a serious car accident, you don't give him a neck brace and you TELL HIM TO MOVE??? good thing EMS came soon enough and was like "NONONO, STAY STILL!!!"

-_-"

but yeah, this brings up a lot of questions for me and for similarly trained people like me who ave never witnessed an accident.

What would you do to help? what CAN you do to help? and how would you react?

i relied on my insticts today and i hopped on my phone right away calling 911.
good thing to know for future accidents, that a lot of this rescuing business is already imprinted into my head.

I really wish i could of helped more, the guy was in pain, his left arm was probably either broken or dislocated, there was probably head trauma and serious internal bleeding. But i didn't want to risk doing anything wrong on the off chance that i did because the fire dept was already 2 blocks away, am i a bad person for thinking like that?
i haven't that time to think about that yet, but for future references, i will know what to do. hopefully i'll be more trained in helping and hopefully i can say the correct line...

when all pressure is on you, shit changes. you discard most that you have been taught during training and all you need to know is to not fuck shit up because so many peoples lives can either be saved or destroyed by your hands. we are the barrier between the people who are hurt to the moment that EMS arrives.

I probably need to think about the situation a but more tommorow... i'm sleepy... -_-

HakoneDayDreamer, i really felt like i could do more, but i couldn't do it...

The best things in life: Part One -get glory with these hands-

Log start: 12:48am June 30th, 2010

-get glory with these hands- <-- not only is it an H&MC song, but also the theme for this post :p

The best things in life sometimes you don't notice yourself. Sometimes, you don't even know it's happened until someone tells it to you. Sometimes we're just so oblivious to it that we miss it completely. Well, that may happen more than we know it, but today i caught a glimpse of it and i must say that it's pretty wonderful :p

So, if you actually read this blog and you know me, you'd know that im a lifeguard. As a lifeguard on duty during the summer at Queens College, we teach a summer camp that houses around 1,000 or more children. These children come in daily for about 8 weeks, they play games, they meet new friends, and they go to activities. Activities such as swimming are part of their daily routine for 8 weeks.

Now, let me explain something first. When i first took the job about 5 years ago, i thought children were cute and amazing (like me). LOL. I just assumed that everyone had a positive attitude about learning how to swim and that i'd turn them into tommorow's Micheal Phelps.

*sigh*

5 years later, i start camp going... "ugh... another year..."
I know that i've made an impact on these kids, i've taught them a skill that they'll keep for the rest of their lives. For example, this little asian girl named Elizabeth. I've taught her in camp for 5 years, from when she wore a lifejacket to where she is now as a level 6 (highest level) swimmer that there is. I know that i wasn't the sole cause of her amazingness at such a young age, but i was part of it. Knowing that these kids aren't wasting your time and that they've actually picked a skill up because of you is something so amazing that you must experience for yourself. (No, i don't want to be a public school teacher, brah. Don't even jinx me like that.)

Sometimes i take this for granted because not everyone of these kids are sweet little kids, some are demon children and they ruin the experience. But these little kids who make something out of it is all i need to fuel myself everyday when i teach them. The thought that maybe just some of them, even maybe just one, will make something for themselves, and when i'm in my chair one day reading the newspaper or watching the TV and i see one of these kids on whatever im watching/reading, i can go "Awesome" *pats self on back*

Isn't that the primary purpose in life? to pass on information to younger generations so that they might later pass it on or make it better. (i make myself sound sooooo old)

Nothing much to talk about today though, since it was the first day. But when i got off of work today, i was walking next to a counselor (basically the teacher equivalent of a class) who was with a small little kid, no more than 10 years old and she asked him "what was your best part of the day?" and the little kid replied "SWIMMING!" the counselor asked "swimming was best part of your whole day?" and he replied "YES! I LOVE SWIMMING!"

After a hectic first day back at work, this is all i will ever need to keep myself going. Knowing that we (as a team) can make such an impact on a little kid who could of chosen something like playing games, or colouring, or even having lunch, but he chose swimming instead. You can't believe how happy that makes me. It's like my stress level just goes from 90% to 10%, all the anger that i've built up throughout the whole day from annoying kids, you just forget after realizing the impact that you've made.

Sometimes, fame/glory/things just come to you, but what's the fun in that if you can't achieve it with your own hands? Knowing that all the effort you put in something actually means something one day makes all the difference in the world.


Edit: Sometimes the best things in life we take for granted, or don't know it's there. But when we realize it, it's the thing that keeps us running in life.

HakoneDayDreamer, Self-satisfaction +1.

SNSD vs After School

Log start: 7:43pm June 16th, 2010

I will never give up my love for my 9 girls from SNSD <3
but this week, i found a korean pop group that comes in a close second.

This group, After School which has 7 members as opposed to SNSD's 9 is sort of SNSD's alter-ego.
When you think of SNSD, first thing that comes to my mind is cuteness. SNSD are cute girls that are around my age :p
After School are slightly older girls, they average about 3-4 years older than each SNSD member :o
but this is what makes them their alter-ego! if you youtube one of SNSD's older vids, or even their 2nd to most recent one "Oh!" it's cute. you know that they revolve around cuteness as a theme.
But if you youtube After School, you can see that they're a more mature version of SNSD, with a lot more rap and more "mature" singing... it's not something that you can explain with words, so just check it out yourself!

Here's a vid of After School's vid "Because of You:"


Here's a vid of them doing a dance battle with SNSD:


what really captured me was the beauty of one AS member, Uee.


if you watched the dance battle vid, she's the one in the front with the blue jacket, her smile and face is just so cute :3
not to mention her cuteness in the "Because of You" MV and her nice legs. LOL. oh man...

ok, more about Uee's cuteness another day. After School is just the same as SNSD in a sort of way, they're just more mature and reach to kind of the same audience, but in a different way.
i admit it, nothing scares me more than an asian female who can rap. half the girls in this group raps O_O"
but it's in a way where they're awesome. in a graceful sort of way, unlike CL of 2ne1 which is just... freaky -_-

so yeah... After School vs SNSD. i honestly love SNSD, because they're just amazing, but After School does come in a close second, mainly because of Uee. :DDDDDDDD

so cute :p

HakoneDayDreamer, i can't believe i just typed this post out... -_-"

misconceptions

Log start: 8:52pm June 12th, 2010

People often believe too much of a persons words without confirming the truth.

Let's take for example, my work. If I were to give permission to a child's parent to register them in a swim class, i won't ask them "do you know how to swim?" "are you good at it?" because as a kid, they'll say "yeah! my parents say i'll be micheal phelps one day! i can swim faster than everyone here"

and then what happens? they register, teacher tells them to hop into the pool in the deep end and they sink straight to the bottom.
^ hypothetical situation - i'm not that irresponsible...

but imagine that the above was real, why would i believe a kid? i was once a kid, i know how their mind works, they always think that they're the best, but in reality they're not.

Reality: what the world really is.

That is why there are procedures, you have to test the child and then you have to confirm it for yourself. great for them if they really are the next micheal phelps, but there are only so many swimming prodigies out there, so chances are, you're not actually good and you're just being a little bitch lying to me.

True story for real life. why would someone believe something that's said about someone else from another person??? <-- confusing line...
here's an example

3 People: A, B, C
A talks to B about C
B believes A
C is automatically the asshat because B doesn't double check with C to confirm something.

even in math, the professors make you check your answer, what happens when your answer is wrong? you change it! durrr. but if you never check, how do you know your answer is wrong? get what i'm trying to say?

Today at the store, i overheard two asian ladies saying
"wow, did you hear about _____'s son? my son says he drinks and does drugs!"
"WOW, REALLY??? don't tell her mother that, or she'll be sad... i'll never look at him the same way again..."

this is how shit starts. lol.

although what was said may or may not be true, without a proper explanation from the kid, he'll just be guilty instead of having the chance of not being guilty.

everyone racks up shit like this everyday, myself included in that equation. someone says something, you go "OMG!" and you never double check to see if facts are right.

it's like playing a continuous game of Telephone without checking with the original person, how are you going to know if your story is right without checking with them???

KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING!?!? lol

misconceptions grow from these kinds of behaviors, these misconceptions create drama, and drama destroys everything.
something that could of easily been prevented and yet we all choose to let it go out of hand and let it destroy because it's just "too much work" sometimes to get the job done right. how would you be able to live with yourself knowing you destroyed everything with your own hands AND that you had the option of choosing to not destroy it from the very beginning.

doesn't make sense to me... maybe somethings aren't supposed to make sense and our human perception cannot master that emotion.
whatever it may be, there are always problems, but we choose to deal with them or not, sometimes we choose not to deal with them more and that's where misconceptions start and end up destroying.

HakoneDayDreamer, i wonder how much of the past i can fix with a time machine... no use pondering now, although i'm pretty sure me and everyone of you that's reading this will end up repeating all of this in real life... humans are so flawed, lol.

Probability vs Intuition

Log start: 2:52am June 12th, 2010

I'm going to share this post on facebook, but there are some previous posts that i haven't posted there, so check those out too if this is considered "good reading" for you... although, i can't grasp why this would be good reading for anyone, even myself... it's just mindless ranting sometimes, lul.

This post is dedicated to that nice asian man who i had a chat with at the casino.
that's right folks! Brian's maiden voyage to the casino. i went from being +65 to only +10 when i came out. at least i was in the positives lol.

A little story to that actually. i was actually DARED to go to the casino. blimey bastards making me go by myself to "test" it out. i hate you all and when i see you, you're all going to get a Brian Special drink mixed for you. ass hats.

So, the night prior to, i was reading on probability and statistics of these games to help myself out a little. i knew previously from playing texas hold em that it's not just probability, but i'm not high enough of a baller to be let on the texas hold em tables at the casino, so i had to settle for a few games that i knew about, and some other games that i read about for the next time i go.

funny enough, i lost money on blackjack... it seems like betting low isn't the way to go in ANY casino games and betting all the time isn't the brightest idea ever... lol...

I was standing for 2 hours at this asian table game called "Sic Bo" (asians use a term 大小 to call the game) looking at how everyone plays. ALL of the asian people were crowded around 3 of these tables, i couldn't make my way to the front row for 30 mins...
i analyzed the game slowly and slowly partook in some betting and that's where i got lucky and went up +65 on my 2nd bet, lol.

but there was this one time (where i didn't bet) that one die was stuck on the bowl thing and the dealer called a re-roll. this old asian man next to me had placed money on #5 and the stuck die was going to add up to 5 for him. when the dealer called a re-roll, he got physically mad, LOL.
and thus stars the chinese dialouge and narrative - the parts in quotes were said in chinese -

"the dealer is cheating! let me see a manager!"
the manager came over and went
"how are we cheating? everyone saw, everyone else is happy. relax"
*insert chinese curses here*
manager - "if you're not happy, fine, go play at the other tables, but don't cause trouble!"
and the old man turned to me and said
"my mind told me that it was going to land there, so i went for it... i was going to win BIG, ya know"
me - "too bad that die got stuck"
him - "they just suck... damn... now i can't feel the chi from the dice... bye kiddo"

and for a good 10 minutes, i thought to myself...
the feel of the dice... intuition... does that mean my probability was the wrong approach?

then i finally realized and in my head i went "LAWLS. yeah right... my college education so far teaches me differently."
but these people have probably been here for years playing these games, how can a rookie 21 year old come with the mindset of being better than everyone there?

so by the end of the day, i decided to settle that gambling is a cross between probability and intuition. you can't blind call everything, yet you can't predict everything with only statistics.

in texas hold em, you fold when you feel that your hand is shit.
in mahjong, you build your tiles according to the feel of the tiles.
in blackjack it's easier to go by statistics

i lost my train of thought... and after typing all of that out, none of what i'm thinking makes any sense...

but... probabiity and intuition, you must have both to win.
i remember a this table, there were these 2 asian guys in their mid 20's all suited up and they made 4 bets within 20 mins, all big bets, and they won all four. they won so much money i started to think to myself "intuition... if only i can get my hands on some..."

it sucks being a rookie at something, intuition can only be built over time as you play more and progress more into something. as a first timer, all i have to go by is statistics and probability... at least i know i have more of that than other people -_-
because i also saw asian ladies bet with their "intuition" and lose big too... so i dunno... i need to grasp this concept even more.

and omg... there are so many ballers at the casino -_- i was watching this 50 dollar minimum blackjack table for 10 mins, and this asian lady in her 30s was just betting like no tommorow, and then when she lost her chips, she just took out he LV wallet and exchanged 500 dollars on the spot and began to play again. im like wuuuuuut >_>

yeah... maybe when i have more of this intuition... but i don't plan to make this a habit or a profession... or else, what would a college education be for? LOL.
next time, it's merely going to be a past time and next time, PEOPLE ARE COMMING WITH ME.

Idiots.


Probability vs Intuition: you need both.


HakoneDayDreamer, can't wait to be a baller, lol.

Defining the Kitty... again...

Log start: 1:14am June 10th, 2010




I found my hello kitty bandaids today whilst looking for my waterproof ones.
today was supposed to rain, so waterproof bandaids make sense o_o but instead, i found my old stash of hello kitty stickers.

i remember a month or two ago, i mentioned something about "nice, i love hello kitty!" and then i was questioned... "wtf? really? hello kitty?" so i'm like "yeah, what's wrong?"

i don't exactly remember the rest of the conversation, but that's how it began...
to this day, the answer that i like to give people who question my love for the kitty is "shit happens..." sometimes you can't control what you like.
i mean... hello kitty... how does that appeal to a 21 yr old guy??
it doesn't even make sense to me sometimes, but i tell ya, when i put the bandaid over my wound today (that's a result of a flaming marshmallow) i looked at it and i sensed a bit of tranquiity. looking at it made the wound not sting and it actually lightened my day.

sometimes, that's all it takes to be happy. some small thing that doesn't really stand out and you might not even realize it, but when you see it, you 'll say to yourself "why is that so awesome?"

putting it into context, try and imagine James Bond. you see bond on a mission, you see bond having happy time with his woman, you see bond kill. then you see bond at a pet shop hugging and kissing puppies or something...

i'm not neccesarily obsessed with hello kitty and all of her items on the market, but sometimes seeing her will just brighten my day up and give me that boost of energy to go "YOSH! AJA AJA FIGHTING, SON!" <--- see what i did? japanese/korean/english reference LOL. *pat myself on the back*

i'm going to have to stop here tonight, my eyes are moving left and right involuntarily which means i'm REALLY exhausted and i need sleep.

imagine any Sims game. my fatigue meter would be -9000 right now in a 0-10 scale... so yeah..

HakoneDayDreamer, for your sake... don't diss the kitty -_-

Accident prone

Log start: 4:23pm June 7th, 2010

I usually never hurt myself a lot.. but it's been 2 days and i've already counted 3 accidents that i've probably imposed on myself due to stupidity. lol.

so yesterday i was baking these amazing chewy cookies, recipe from alton brown, and i slipped out of the house for 2 hours after they were done. i came back thinking that the cookie sheet was at least warm to the touch. so i grabbed it with my palms (my fingers were holding a cookie, LOL) and baaaammmm burned -_-

i know, i know. i should of used an oven mitt >_> i seriously thought it was okay to touch lol. but apparently not...

then later on that night, i went to dave and busters with a few people and i ended up spraining my left wrist playing video games.
dude, you don't know how bad it is while playing an intense game to rack up tickets and suddenly you feel the sharpest pain ever in your playing hand...
i thought about shaking it off and having a gin and tonic at the bar.. BUT THE BAR CLOSED. RAWRRRRRR. good thing i wasn't driving o_o" i would of been in soooo much pain...
i did manage to get a stuffed Kenny from south park though :p and that's being displayed in the back of my car as a result of my pain, hahaha.

THEN today. my neighbor called me out to play handball.
i was deciding if i should go or not, seeing as how my left hand is completely immobile and my right palm burn still stings when i touch it...
but deciding between staying home or having a chance to hurt myself outside... i chose handball.

baaaaaddd choice. i played about 3 games and as the 3rd game ended my right ankle does a twist. good thing i was thinking fast and countered it... so now it's only a semi-twisted ankle instead of a fully twisted one...

oh god... i have to stop doing things when im hurt or else i get more hurt -____-

the week just started too, i was planning to go practice some archery tuesday and wednesday, but i think i'll take the day off tommorow to rest... i don't want to get hurt from archery anymore, lol.

from archery, i've only hurt myself seriously twice. once was when i first started archery, we have these club bows by PSE from the Optima series. i was hyper-extending my arm and as a result, my elbow was hit by the bow string and i was the first ever in club history to have an open bleeding wound from a bow. NICE. XD.
the second time, i picked up the president's hunting bow and shot it. again, i was hyper-extending and ended up with a bruise that was there for a good 3 weeks. there's still some after bruising that's still visible...

why do i do this to myself? lol...
i know i'll get hurt, but i jump into it anyway.

meh. as my swim coach says, "no pain no gain, idiots."
it hurts though -_- i want to trade in these pain points for skill points ASAP so i stop hurting myself LOL.

HakoneDayDreamer, ouchies...

My bartender listens to David Choi!

Log start: 2:04pm June 6th, 2010

It never ceases to amaze me how much you learn from random people everyday. Yesterday night, i decided to go to one of my neighborhood bars by myself (mainly because it was 2am and i don't want to bother people at that time... lol)
At the bar, i sat in the middle of all the seats and ordered a Gin and Tonic from a cute female bartender.
Whilst sipping on my gin and tonic, since i had no one else to talk to and the other ppl were either a)partying up a saturday b)looking to get drunk c)prostitutes d)guys e)old people, i took out my rusty, yet trusty, blackberry and checked the world news. don't judge me... i know a lot of people say politics are stupid, but the truth is, it's what runs the world.

As i finish my first gin and tonic, i already read up on some of the major news, oil spill, people complaining, sarah palin being an idiot, people STILL complaining about arizona's immigration laws.

as i finish my last sip, i order another one... (i think i'm in a gin and tonic phase... i love that drink right now xD)
as the bartender is mixing up another one, i asked for it in a highball glass, which is 2oz more than the traditional rocks glass that it's served in and i asked for the extra cup space to be filled with more tonic water.

funny how conversations start up. during this second gin and tonic, i didn't pick up my blackberry at all and this particular drink lasted for a good half hour o_o"
the bartender says to me "feeling bitter today?" and she chuckles.
so i respond "not really... why?"
and she goes "im sure you already know that tonic water is a bit bitter, and people usually ask for more gin, not the tonic, haha"

from there, she attempted to recreate my life story just from me asking for a bit more tonic water... it's funny how bartenders find the significance behind special order drinks that people think up. i guess that's a job of a bartender that i still haven't mastered yet.

usually, when i bartend other peoples drinks, i usually first scan them from head to toe and try and read their facial expression. from there, i modify the drink to what i think will suite their daily moods. every bartender has their unique style and it just so happens i run into the story teller one... and here i wonder why their stories are always right... lol

so she ends up hitting the spot dead on... i'm not going to type out the story that she said because dudes... cmon... privacy on the internet please, lol.
but by the time she finishes explaining everything, i'm just sitting there in amazement. and she goes "yeah, im amazing, i know" in a sarcastic voice, XD.
and i respond, "better believe it"

then she offers me her own version of gin and tonic, on the house :D
so she starts mixing a regular gin and tonic in a highball glass and then she stares at me and says
"instead of the extra bitterness this time, let's try something else. let's fill that extra space with a little more spirit *adds 1 extra shot of gin* the perfect gin and tonic is built from high quality gin and tonic that's not out of a soda gun. and by adding this spirit, i hope that it will give you more spirit and colour to your life. analyze every obstacle in your life with this spirit and plan accordingly. last but not least, instead of lime, here's a lemon chunk and half a shot of lemon juice *adds 1/2 shot lemon juice* lime is green, you're not green, you're asian, so here's something yellow! HAHA. and beside, lemon is different from lime flavourwise and there usually isn't any citrus in gin and tonic, but here's a shot of sourness to symbolize what you plan to do in every situation. whether you choose to attack it in full force, like what this lemon will do to your drink, or however you choose to deal with it. don't look back and just do it."

she makes herself the same drink and we had a cheers to a good life.
before i left, she told me to go to youtube and search up "that girl" by david choi.
so im staring at her like "LOLWUT" because i know of that song too ->check previous blog post<- and i thought he was only known in the asian community or anyone who keeps up with wongfu. but here's a short little white girl in her mid 20s telling me to listen to david choi... i was honestly shocked. O_O"
and she tells me that there's more to the song and she told me to click the little link that is displayed at the beginning of the video that tells the story behind the song and video.
usually, i don't click those because i think that it's a waste of time, but she told me to do it.

here's the link ->
http://wongfuproductions.com/2010/05/new-music-video-released-%E2%80%9Cthat-girl%E2%80%9D/

Alcohol is not there for people to get drunk and party. i mean, sure, people drink it to get buzzed so they have excuses to do stuff. but that's not what alcohol is about. i got into bartending because it's an art, an art that defines people. what people order, what people drink, what people think. everything is reflected in the drinks that they order and from this awesome bartender, there's always a story behind everything. many people don't get it and either don't try it or abuse it to the point that makes the spirits useless.
think of alcohol as a yin for your yang. some extra energy to balance out the imbalance that you have in yourself. if you abuse it, it will abuse you.
there are days where i can drink more than i usually can before i turn red or feel the alcohol, and there are days where one shot is almost a total wipeout for me.
there's always a nice amount that you should intake to balance everything out.

listen to me... i sound like an old man explaining alcohol and its uses -_-

but there's always a story to tell from your drink, no matter what your mood is.
it's the life and job of a bartender to predict and re-create these things.
and i just met one of the best bartenders of my time.

i re-created the drink today and i can safely say that it didn't taste as amazing as it did last night, it could be because im not using top-shelf stuff... but i'll leave that for another day.

so... the best bartender that i've met yet listen to david choi... and she's not even asian o_o"

the chemistry behind alcohol... people don't realize the significance of it.


HakoneDayDreamer, i have a new favourite place to drink xD

The price of glory

Log start: 12:35am 5/31/2010

-resumed- 12:31am 6/2/2010

Finch - "What It Is To Burn"
"...so tell me... what's the price to pay.... for glory..."

Its been a long month. Been training almost everyday for the Gold Cup (Archery Tournament)
Shot amazingly during practice but it seems like i just had the bad luck of competition jitters and other combinations of stuff. Can't blame me though, eh? I was shooting on the same target as Canada's #1 male shooter and probably USA's most decorated shooter... and once i got past eliminations, i was shooting next to the next rising star of USA archery, one which my friend Patrick says who is almost up there in beating the current USA #1. Even though on paper, i did the worst at my first archery tournament, i don't think it's a bad thing, considering i picked the sport up about 4 months ago and i've been trying to pump it up so i can compete in a national level tournament.
Even though i could of done much better at the tournament, i'd like to give a shout out and thanks to the people that i've been with the past few weeks that made this tournament possible. Competition is all about the mental game, just like when i used to do competitive swimming, it's all about the right mind setting and believing in yourself. Without you guys, i couldn't of done it, and without you guys, i don't think i'd be able to progress in this sport as fast as i had :)
so big shoutout to them, you guys know who you are.

That's the price you have to pay for glory. What better way is there to earn something than with your own hands? Working from scratch and making it to the top is 90% of the fun in games. bumps and falls are for the experience and when you experience it with other people, you have fun and learn at the same time. i don't think i could of done a sport which just required myself and no one else. because, what would be the fun in that?
Next stop: Nor'easter, another national level archery tournament. this time, my mental game will be prepared and hopefully my game will be better.

I will admit though, my game for the Gold Cup was disturbed by someone... you know who you are too, you hippy... couldn't bring my A-Game there and i regret it so bad.

But that's a story for another day.
But for those of you who know what's going on or at least have a vague idea, i dedicated this song to you.



Sorry for the somewhat short post. I'm usually a heavy typer when i get into the mood, but there's so much i can't say right now...
Maybe next time i'll have an extra long post, but this time i'll end it here...

HakoneDayDreamer, how much are you willing to sacrifice for glory? Me? I'd sacrifice everything just to know it's there...

building up

^day/date time on bottom

Phone post #2?

The title of this blog comes from the snowball effect where you take a snowball, roll it down a mountain and it will accumulate snow as it rolls, eventually it becomes this giant ball of doom.

I have a bad habit. A very bad habit that not only involves myself, but quite possibly other people around me. See, I don't conciously control this habit, or else I would stop it. Sometimes I notice it and it's easy to correct, but sometimes it's inevitable and that's when it gets baaaaaddd.

This bad habit revolves around my brain and my inability to tell people bad news. I never want to tell people bad news. Who would? it's just like a TV scenario where your boss is too wuss to fire someone straight up so you're charged with the task to be the news bringer. Honestly, that job SUCKS. Because then that person will associate being fired with you. Just as how if you tell someone bad news, they'll ultimately associate it with you. And you might be like "nahhh. ME?!?! I'd NEVER do that" well, suck it up, idiot. And now me calling you an idiot will not be a joke anymore and will be justified by what you will do for the rest of your life; associate that bad experience with me. I don't care how high your EQ/IQ is, there isn't anything you can do to control this effect. So by not being the bringer of bad news, I escape all of this BS that could of floated around me if I had been one.
But here is where the problem can go either really good, or really bad. What do I do if their habit actually effects me? Better yet, to bring in a real life situation, what do I do if this habit grows exponentially over time as this person does not realize it and keeps on doing it?
That's the real dilema. Now should I break the bubble around this person or should I keep all this negative energy contained and let them live life everyday with this bad habit that THEY are responsible for, but blame ME for certain things that are a result of this bad habit?
Of course, you must first consider if this is SO extreme that it is not something that you are capable of fitting into your own hands or if you just want to be a good friend, but get blamed for doing so.
This is where I've come to right now and I have no real solution for it. But let me tell you, the situation is soooooo bad that I'm about to break my "don't be a bringer of bad news" rule and just full on tell them. It's bad, and it will probably be too much to handle, and for me to be at this breaking point, I guarantee you that this doesn't only deal with myself, but with other parties as well. That's why it's so hard to come to a decision at the moment. I wouldn't care if it involved me alone, I can just use my in-head ignore button. But I can't do it for other people.

Hakonedaydreamer, so close to destroying everything. So very close.

Throwback.... fridays o_O

Log start: 1:43am April 3rd, 2010

When i was driving home before, i was in my usual speed demon mode. the most important tool for speedy driving is the radio, for me at least...
if a good fast beat song is on, it makes driving a lot easier, because you drive to the beat of the music and it just feels awesome.
but when my two "hit" music stations (z100, 92.3) all play shit, i usually have throw out a loud disappointing sigh, even when i'm driving by myself, LOL.

But today, my fallback station, 102.7 (lite fm) gave me a huge surprise.

i'm usually not surprised by the radio but this one gave me 2 surprises, back to back.
First, the song Beautiful Girl by Sean Kingston was playing midway when i switched to the station. but it wasn't the song that gave me the surprise, it was the radio edit version that they played that momentarily disturbed my driving rhythm.
usually, the song goes "they'll have you suicidal, suicidal, when they say it's over"
the radio version went "they'll have you IN DENIAL, IN DENIAL, when they say it's over."

Ok, maybe it might not sound shocking when i type it out right now... but when i was thinking about it in the car, it was MIND BLASTING... they replaced suicidal for IN DENIAL. it's not a cuss word, i don't even think it's a bad word. this is probably on par with me for the keri hilson song where they replaced NeYo's "i used to be commander in chief of my pimp ship flyin' high" to "i used to be commander in chief of my pimp **** flyin' high"
they block out SHIP but not PIMP? like how they replaced suicidal with in denial?
none of this might make sense right now, but i feel really sleepy at the moment.
i just don't get it. people are too sensitive sometimes, i get why there are people who oppose of the word, but this is insane >.>


(insert 20 min time span here)

seriously... so sleepy... getting distracted so easily at the moment

right, second surprise...
they were playing Destinys Child - "Say My Name"
LOL

for you people who are around the same age as i am. this ranks high up there with the "throwback songs i really don't mind, but i never expected it to pop on the radio" list.

it was a nice change from all the crap that's on the radio today *cough* lady gaga *cough*

HAKONEDAYDREAMER, LOUD NOISES! wow.. i can't believe this post took 1hr and 30mins... this post sucks... i don't know why i'm allowing myself to post this -_- SLEEPINESS > MY BLOGGING ABILITIES(whatever that means >.>)

perspective v2

Log start: 9:48pm March 31st, 2010

I'm old.
It took me a whole week to realize this but the fact is... i'm old...
i am now the youngest of the old people... hmm... the next landmark age for me looks like 25, because then i can rent cars... wtf, lol.

But seriously, being 21 ranks up on my list of "AWESOME ACHIEVEMENTS"
i mean... dude.. i can buy alcohol, LOL. I went to a liquor store earlier this week to buy something for my friend's 21st. the lady at the register didn't even card me!
seriously >.> when i'm under 21, they automatically card, but when i turned 21, no one cards me :3
but then there are times like today, when i went to Mitsuwa with my brother, i baught some sake. this asian lady was like "can i see your ID?" "OH! your birthday just passed! so young" "is this for you?" "YOU DRINK!?" "for reeeaaaalll?"

seriously.... SERIOUSLY? i know this trick. this is the imfamous asian women over 40 trick that stabs you multiple times with guilt to make you think your life over again. in some sense, it was almost like she was trying to say "NAH IDIOT, YOU'RE TOO YOUNG!" and trying to deny me the alcohol, but in a legal sense, she isn't able to.
it worked. i felt guilty. BUT MY BIRTHDAY WAS LAST WEEK! i'm not going to let her stop me from buying alcohol l0l. and besides, the united states is already in the top 5 countries worldwide to have such a high age restriction on the purchase/consumption of alcohol. when i went to china last winter vacation, my 16 yrold cousin went into the corner store and baught beer. i was like wuuuuuuttttttt. so i'm not going to let guilt take me over LOL

age is just a number. i know 50 yr olds who wears baggy pants, shades, and does everything an 18 yr old would do. i know a 21 yr old who has random pains in his body and drinks whiskey, i had one of my 12 yr old swim students lecture me on life once. (i made her swim more than the others because she started to get annoying, LOL)

im bored... 6 minutes remaining until i finish downloading this TVB game show so i'll try and think of things to write about x_x

____________________________________________________________________________
per·spec·tive   /pərˈspɛktɪv/ Show Spelled[per-spek-tiv] Show IPA
–noun
1.a technique of depicting volumes and spatial relationships on a flat surface.Compare aerial perspective, linear perspective.
2.a picture employing this technique, esp. one in which it is prominent: an architect's perspective of a house.
3.a visible scene, esp. one extending to a distance; vista: a perspective on the main axis of an estate.
4.the state of existing in space before the eye: The elevations look all right, but the building's composition is a failure in perspective.
5.the state of one's ideas, the facts known to one, etc., in having a meaningful interrelationship: You have to live here a few years to see local conditions in perspective.
6.the faculty of seeing all the relevant data in a meaningful relationship: Your data is admirably detailed but it lacks perspective.
7.a mental view or prospect: the dismal perspective of terminally ill patients.
____________________________________________________________________________

life is what you make of it. a spoon can be a fork if you're lazy enough to walk to the kitchen. or in my case, an empty gas tank is a never ending mystery of when i'll completely run out of gas and fail, LOL.

i don't know where i'm getting with this post >.>
so i'll end it with a nice picture of a cherry blossom that i took during my trip this past weekend to Washington D.C. for the cherry blossom festival! yay!




HakoneDayDreamer, the youngest of the old T_T"

OR: St. Patrick <--- new drink recipe

Log start: 2:01pm March 18th, 2010

OR stands for Original Recipe, cause i'm just THAT awesome.

Ingredients:
Half a tablespoon of LIME Jello
1 Tablespoon of hot water
1/2 Shot Vodka
1/2 Shot Triple Sec
Sprite
Lime Juice
Optional: Lime wedge

SO experimenting with what i have in my room, i made a pretty awesome drink that goes into the top 3 that i ever created xD

First you dissolve the jello with the hot water in a cup: remember to tilt the cup at a 45º angle.
stir it until it dissolves, no matter how long it takes, it WILL dissolve.
then add 1/4 shot of lime juice
add your 1/2 vodka and 1/2 triple sec
Top it off with sprite
Optional: add a lime wedge


the consistency of this drink should be a little thick because of the jello, but it's basically a mix between a lime jello shot and a lime drink
it IS sour but it's soooo damn good xD
if you pour it out into a glass cup, it has a slight green tint to it, not too strong, but noticeable to celebrate st. patties say with :D

HakoneDayDreamer, i wonder why no one will hire me as a bartender :x

Texas Days 3+4+5

Log Start: 1:42am March 17th, 2010 - St. Patricks Day

See, this is why i don't like waiting to post, i forget so much -_-
it looks like i lied in my last post, day 3 was postponed, i guess until right now.
i can probably guess the reason behind it; i was typing on a blackberry while my arms, hands, and fingers were all sore! and then i just gave into the pain and went to bed.
the stress of competing was just too overwhelming for me >.>

Day 3: this is where i had my second game :o
second game, what a bummer i tell you. i was actually planning to win this game, believe it or not. but the story behind this goes back to day 2, when i had my first game.
so this guy that i'm playing today was the referee of the game that i was playing yesterday. not a big deal you say... but here's the thing. while mr. baldy coach was giving his pupil some tips on beating me, the referee heard it. this guy i was going to play today knew all my weaknesses and how to counter everything that i throw -_-
i'm not a very experienced player and since our team lacked the important Coach figurehead, we were already at a disadvantage, and me going into this match knowing i'm in for a pretty hardcore spanking didn't help me at all.

i'm going into this match with overnight bruises and pain from yesterdays match when i hit the ball too hard on the wrong place. and let me tell you, nothing HURTS the fuck more than overnight bruises. especially if you have to hit with that hand repeatedly for the duration of the game.

no details here; but i lost. EL OH EL.
Later that night, USHA hosted a dinner party for all of the players that were competing. we reserved a whole restuarant that was in the basement of a downtown Houston building, not far from the YMCA where we were playing.
honestly, food doesn't taste THAT different in different states. sure, i mean, they use different ingredients and different spices, but it's not something i would go coconuts for. it was good, but it wasn't THAT good. maybe my expectations were too high going into this.
i must say, their sweets are good though. the blondies and brownies there were there for dessert were AWESOME. lol.
of course, if anyone knows our team, alcohol WAS passed around in a water bottle :p
good stuff (H)

DAY 4:
I WIN I WIN. first, and might i add, the only win that i would get in the tournament. sadly...
no details here, you just need to know that i won and moved on to the semi-finals XD
the semi-finals were on the same day. and competition was getting tough. only the strong survive, and in my brackets, let's just say we're the newbies of the tournament and none of us have anything left in us to perform at tip top shape. out of sheer pain to my main hand, i just stood there hitting the ball once in awhile. seriously, if you can just imagine the pain that i was in, there was nothing i could do. mind over matter did not work. i had no motivation, i had no reason to continue. i thought to myself, this pain.... IT HURTS, LOL. i just couldn't bring myself to play my A-game... or as a matter of fact, any game... i was just too torn.

^sparknotes of day 4

DAY 5:
now as i have some free time, i thought i would go shopping in downtown houston at noon!
W-O-W.
Houston is DESERTED. Let me stress the word deserted for you.

Shopping in downtown Houston is centered in this 3x2 block mass of stores. they open at 10:30am. this is a SUNDAY. on SUNDAY, there was not a single person in any store. i went into Macys and thought to myself, I WOULD LOVE TO SEE AT LEAST A PERSON.
and nothing. not ONE person in macys that was shopping. all i saw were bored workers, and not many of them. the recession must of hit Houston pretty damn hard. because if i'm the only person in Macy's something is obviously wrong.
so i ditched that idea, went back to the YMCA to my teammates and went to get our last Which Wich sandwich of the trip. i have a menu from there, i might upload it when i get back to my home scanner. but the sandwiches >>>>> quiznos > subways > stony brook. really good stuff.

and with the tournament ending, our team swept division 2. winning 3/5 gold medals and 1/5 silver :D

and with that, we went home.

i might add more details... but i had a midterm today. so i'm not going to bother typing anymore.

HAKONEDAYDREAMER, i have an intent to kill. FUTURE ME, REMEMBER THIS DAY. REMEMBER....

Texas - day 2+3

Log start: dudes... I lost track of time... I don't know if it's a good thing or if it's a bad thing.. But gee... I'm in so much pain, I really don't / can't / not-able-to care

Note: this post was originally written to combine day 2 and 3 into one... If I give up later and keep it to day 2 only, I'm in too much pain to keep pressing buttons on my blackberry.

So. Day 2. The team wakes up at 8am and meets at the hotel lobby at 8:45.
Let me just say that this messes up my normal sleeping schedule HARDCORE.
My usual schedule is to sleep at about 4am and wake up at noon. To sleep before midnight and to wake up when normal people wake up is something really different.

So we meet at the hotel lobby and we walk together to the YMCA across the street. (I know, super convienient! Can I get a steak sauce on that?? YYYYEEEAAAHH) <- reference to How I Met Your Mother
We're probably the last ones to check into the tournament because we were supposed to be there wednesday night but our flight got delayed so much that we missed it and just left it for today.
So we get our stuff and we sit.
we're all playing in seperate divisions so all of our game times are different, some are at 10am some at noon and some at 4pm. I believe mine was at 11am so we sit until the first ppl play. This is my first collegiate handball tournament so the atmosphere was pretty new to me. Everyone was on a different skill level and everyone was from different parts of the country. The best part of the trip is probably this part. Just meeting new people that you usually don't meet, get to know them, and you either see them next year in the tournament or you don't. Lol.
So let me explain the divisions. The division I originally signed up for was called "contenders." It basically means that I'm not that good at the sport but I'm not completely trash. LOL.
The placed about 5 divisions together in 1 bracket so that we can play each other to find the correct placement. With this in mind, a few weeks before the tournament started, I actually decided on losing my first game so that I could drop down to the correct seating.
My logic was that I didn't want to play games that I couldn't win, so I might as well keep it real and play people that aren't better or worse than I was. I would be playing people around my level so that I would have an equal chance as anyone else to get a trophy!
When I type it out now, I feel like such an underachiever... But that's what some of these competitions are about, playing it smart. (Although... I wouldn't call myself that smart....)

The first game I was in, I didn't want to lose that badly, just a few points here and there so I could see how well I could actually do against this fellow.
I played against some dude from missouri state I think... Not 100% sure. But he actually wasn't that good. At first I was winning at 15-6 but then his coach came along, figured me out and gave the fellow some tips...
Good job.
See, the only thing bad about being just a club is that we have no coach. We live off of peer advice and we learn the sport faster. But without actual training and tips during game time outs, our style cannot surpass coaching tips.
Needless to say. I lost my first game.
No worries I told myself. The match was best out of three. Since I lost my first game, I planned on winning my second and losing at the tiebreaker.
Didn't happen.

Seems like mr baldy coach gave the fellow some godly advice to destroy my weakness and it actually worked for half the match.
The score is 15-3 him and I see some of my team gather around. I got some tips and I finally figured out what to do against him.
The only problem was is that his score was too high and I didn't have enough leeway to win the second game. It ended 21-18 him. See the comeback that I made? :p

If only I had more points to spare againt him... Gee.

My next game is tommorow so I just chillax and watch my teammates play. I can't stress how important supporting your team is. That's what I love about us. We're pretty damn supportive of our teammates. That's what you have to do and that's how we rolllllllll.

Other things happened too but it was pretty boring...

And I'm tired... Day 3 written tommorow as I go to sleep to play in day 4 right now..
SSSSOOOO SORE!!!

So much pain...

HakoneDayDreamer, gonna bring back a trophyyyy (I hope)

Texas day 1

Log start: 12:25am central time february, something...2010

Cellphone entry #1

Texas, day 1:::
So, 4 team members left the stony brook lirr on the 6am train. Believe it or not, that's the second time ever that I've rode on the lirr... The first time was the 2nd week of my first semester at stony where I went back to get my car. Ever since that, I've relied on my car for everything else. But this was not a situation where a motor vehicle could be relied on. I'm not paying about 100 dollars for 5 day parking at laguardia.
So the rest of our team meets us at the airport and we head on over to the security gate. I am not being racist or anything here but they pulled our brown friend aside and he gets chosen for some "additional" screening. LOL.
Ok, so he called beforehand that this would happen, everyone laughs it off and we head over to the gate to wait for our plane.

Turns out that our plane is first delayed by 1 hour 30 mins because originally, it was a flight from cleveland and they had some snow problems so they delayed our flight. Cool. But... 2 hrs later, they told us all flights from cleveland are cancelled. Greattttt so now we have to split the team up and board 2 seperate flights to go to houston, miss the orientation, AND miss the houston rockets game...
Gee man, let a yellow brotha catch a break... Life isn't about drinking tea and building railroads.. Sometimes, we want to ride the planes too!!

So we split up into flights that are either 3:10pm or 5:30pm. I told myself that I was lucky to be on the earlier flight but it seems that it's not the case...
The first flight kept on having delays and it didn't even have food@@@ just some pretzels and some OJ -_-
The second flight had sandwiches and everything good... Blehhhhh

Ok, so we get there and then we have to take a bus that runs every 45 mins from the airport to houston. We fiiiiinally get there after 1 hour because the bus driver had to take a dump at every gas station that she saw...

After we met up, we went ti buffalo wild wings for dinnahhhhhhhh. And let me tell you. NOTHING is better than some blazin wings for dinner :p

That basically ends day 1.. I wanted to recap day 2 (today) too but my fingers REALLY hurt from typing on a blackberry and my stony suitemate ivan is snoring too loud now in the hotel.. So I'm going to stop here for today.

HakoneDayDreamer, to become one of us, you need to become none of us.

Affecting the effect

Log start: 5:49pm February 23rd, 2010

Couldn't think of a title... so i took a quote from "How I Met Your Mother" and spun it around :D

So.... i'm leaving for Texas tommorow for a 5 day (FREE!!!) trip to play handball, NCAA style :D
110% Psyched about going to Texas actually, didn't think that i would actually land myself a spot, so i'm thankful for that.
I wish that i could take my uber-hax camera there though but our luggage is limited so i'm forced to take my Sony one... *sigh* the pictures that i could capture if i had my Canon with me.... AIYA.

Writers' Notes: [I had this MOTIVATIONAL post all ready and all of a sudden, it left my mind as fast as it came to me... now i can't even think of productive things to write about... damn writers block. it could be that something else is on my mind, i can't exactly get a grasp of what it is yet. but it's acting like an iron wall between my stream of thoughts and this blog... what a nerd...]

t h i s
i s
j u s t
h e r e
t o
t a k e
u p
s p a c e
w h i l e
i
t h i n k
o f
w h a t
t o
w r i t e
n e x t
a n d
h o n e s t ly
,
i t ' s
n o t
w o r k i n g
. . .

i know 1 thing that i'm not psyched about though, all this work that i have to do within the next 6 hours. i have to complete so much shit before i leave for Texas...
AND OH NO!!!
i'll be away from so much technology for 5 days... i don't know if i'll have the will to live by friday... no laptop... no tv... OH MY GOODNESS... NO EPISODES OF HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER FOR 5 DAYS!?!?!? SHIT, SON!

all i'll have is my blackberry and my nintendo DS, LOL.
and bomberman can ONLY keep me happy for so long -_-

i can't even think about that right now x_x
to be away from technology from so long *shudders*

but thinking about the swimming time that i'll get when i come back makes me feel somewhat happy. yep, swimming makes me happy... for some odd reason...
see, when i was swimming for high school, my favorite event (even though i didn't admit it) was the 500 freestyle. that's 20 laps of swimming nonstop...
don't make fun of it, i know you're saying "OH GOD! 20 LAPS!? THAT'S SO BORING"
mmkay. well. that's 20 laps of no worrying about anything, your mind is completely clear, and all you're focused on is your pace, your breathing, and how awesome you look because.
your mind is completely blanked out and 100% concentration is upon you.
do you know what i would give for 100% concentration sometimes? sometimes my mind just run wild and everything else messes up after.
the affect of 100% concentration effects your ability to swim 20 laps at the same speed <-- see what i did there? ;)

But seriously, 20 laps of swimming isn't a race to see how fast you are (metaphorically)
it's a battle between minds. same thing with the 72 lap (1 mile of swimming) that i did once in college :x (and i came in first out of the whole class@@@) well... technically i cheated... i signed up for an intermediate swimming class. el oh el

sorry that this post is just random babbling, i really had something planned out to write about but it just left my mind... and this is the best improv that i could do on the spot >.>

GOTTA GO NOW! i have a date.... with schoolwork... it wants to rape me... HALP!

HakoneDayDreamer, only have to concentrate on swimming and archery when i come back from texas. yey.

edit: thank god for autosave... almost lost this whole post because of a misclick, LOL.