Mirror

Log start: 5:06am October 4th, 2010


Senior year -_-"
One of the emotions i'm not feeling when the semester started was excitement. I'm not excited that I might graduate after this year and i'm definately not excited about starting "real life." I've seen people come and go and the transition from college life to the real world is not a pretty thing.
Oh how I wish I can be in college forever, but the young must grow old, and the old must entrust the younger generation with the responsibilities that they once held.

Listen to me, i'm only 21 and i'm talking like im 60 years old T_T
But it's true, in the undergraduate community, I am in my fourth year here and the oldest :\

This semester, i'm also starting my e-board position on the SBU Company of Archers (archery club...) as secretary.
Recruiting new people, training new people, and interacting with so many people actually made me realize the fact that i'm flippin' old.

You KNOW that you're old when you look at freshman that just came to the school and you see yourself in them.
What you stood for when you came to college, the way you acted, and the experiences that they're feeling now.

You know how that felt and you know the journey that they're about to go through.
When you look at people, you know exactly how they'll turn out in college, some more than others because you actually see yourself in them.

People say that every single person is unique and that may be true... if you were in a class of about 30 people (grade, middle, high school)
But in college, especially in an international institution like Stony Brook, there are no uniques, there is always a copy of you and when you see these copies, it makes you reminisce the old days. the good, the bad, the could/would ofs, and the joys.

Some people can recognize it more than others... I mean... my second week back, there was holidays already here and the food court closes at different times.
So every thursday, after the archery club meets and does our off campus practices, we come back to roth quad and follow our tradition to eat at wendys.

It so happens that wendys closed early that day and as people were comming out, they said to me "OH, IT'S CLOSED, I THINK YOU SHOULD GO TO KELLY (another food court) JUST WALK UP THIS ROAD, TURN LEFT, WALK UP A HILL AND YOU SHOULD BE THERE!!!"

I bet they felt accomplished.

They just told a senior how to get from one part of campus to the other.

Legends.


Back on topic, there's no way to admit that i'm not old. Honestly, i'm scared of what is to come when i graduate (if i choose to graduate) and i'm scared of what these younger people will become when we leave. it's an unending cycle of worriness. what will the younger version of me become? what will i become in the future? what will they do in the future? I DO HOPE I STAY FOREVER YOUNG, I DON'T WANT TO GRADUATE.

But reality must come, the stage of being a new born baby to a college senior is the end of your youth. from then, you're old, you grow increasingly old as the days go by, and then in 20 or 30 years, you're the spitting image of your parents. you will become what you did not want to be.

But that's the truth that we fail to see, it's the truth of what we don't want to admit, and it's the truth of what life will end up as.

I mean, come on... i even remember when pluto was a planet...


HakoneDayDreamer, where's that fucking fountain of youth?? flippin' explorers...